


What You do to Me

by Yahooligan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Modern AU, Modern Thedas, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Only if you squint - Freeform, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14271843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yahooligan/pseuds/Yahooligan
Summary: Solona Amell was in love with her best friend. It was a problem, one she needed to fix, but every time Leliana would laugh or smile at her, she found herself digging a deeper grave.But Leliana would never return her feelings. Not with Marjolaine in the way, anyway. The more Solona wants to tell Leliana how she feels, the more strained their friendship becomes.It doesn't help that Solona is constantly telling Leliana that Marjolaine is manipulative and abusive. It doesn't help that Leliana doesn't believe her.





	1. Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing fanfiction, so don't be too harsh, please. 
> 
> I also don't know if this has been done before. It's basically a Modern AU where a female Warden and Leliana are already friends before Marjolaine's betrayal. Though, of course, I had to add some unrequited feels in here. 
> 
> If I got anything wrong, feel free to let me know and I'll change it as soon as I can. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Solona Amell had a big problem. Said problem was currently sitting in front of her in an overly expensive Orlesian coffee shop. But... it was worth it to hear Leliana laughing again. 

Leliana and her "girlfriend," Marjolaine, had had quite the argument recently. The bruise around Leliana's eye was fading, but still visible. 

But Leliana never wanted to listen to Solona's warnings, for whatever reason. 

It had put a strain on their friendship. Solona snapped at her when she would start talking about how wonderful Marjolaine was.

Which then would make Leliana say, "What would you know of being in love?"

_I know because I'm in love with you!_ she wanted to shout. But instead, she would shake her head and mumble something before leaving. 

"I'm telling the truth!" Solona said, though it was more of a laugh. "He slobbers everywhere. I almost slipped this morning!" 

Leliana was covering her mouth, tears filling her eyes. She was shaking with her laughter. 

"He's a good dog, though," Leliana said after her laughter had died down. She was still smiling. "You'll have to bring him over sometime."

Solona snorted. "Sure, if you Orlesians suddenly like Ferelden dogs."

Leliana laughed and shook her head. "I can't tell who you're referring to, Sol," she said. 

Solona felt a flutter in her chest at that nickname. Leliana was the only one allowed to call her that. Everyone else got a warning glare. 

"Why, myself, of course," Solona answered. 

"You're not Fereldan, Solona. You're from Kirkwall, remember?" 

"Sure, but I was sent to Kinloch Hold when I was six, and I was raised in Ferelden, so I'm basically-"

Leliana grabbed her hand under the table, making Solona's breath hitch. "You can't forget where you came from, Sol," she said gently. "Have you contacted your mother recently?" 

"No. I imagine she wouldn't want to speak with me, not after what Marian blamed me for."  _Solona, why weren't you fast enough? Carver would still be alive if you had been faster!_

"She would believe your cousin over you?" Leliana asked, sitting against her chair and sipping her drink. 

Solona laughed, but it was humorless. "Marian's not a mage."

Leliana looked like she was going to reply, but her phone ringing stopped her. She pulled it out of her pocket and sighed. Solona couldn't tell if it was happy or tired. 

"It's Marjolaine, isn't it?" It was a wild guess, but apparently the right one. 

"I'll be back in just a moment," Leliana said, standing. 

Solona shook her head and stood as well. "Nah, it's all right. I should get going, anyway. Lots of tomes to read, you know."

"Are we still on for movie night tonight?"

Nodding, Solona said, "Yeah, definitely. Just let me know when you want me to come over."

Leliana gave her an apologetic look before she answered her phone and walked away. 

Sighing, Solona threw away her cup and walked towards her apartment, her hands in her jacket pockets. 

Hopefully, nothing else would go wrong today.

 

\---

 

Leliana noticed the looks Sol gave her when she thought she wasn't looking. As a bard, it was Leliana's job to catch subtle things like that. 

But she didn't dare hope they meant anything other than a passing fancy. Marjolaine usually distracted her when her feelings almost burst out. 

Maker,  _Marjolaine._ She knew she should be listening to Solona's warnings, but she couldn't bring herself to.  _Marjolaine was just afraid of her feelings,_ she told herself.  _She didn't mean to hurt you. You just angered her._

If things ever went south with Marjolaine, Leliana knew Solona would always be there for her. The young mage had even said so herself, and so far she had proven it. 

Anytime Leliana needed a place to stay, even just for a night, Sol would always offer her apartment. When Leliana needed to distract herself, Solona was there, distracting her with games and movies and somehow new places to visit. 

Solona wasn't exactly rich, so Leliana had no idea where the money came from. It wasn't like the Wardens paid her well. 

Leliana always felt awful when she caught Sol's sorrowful looks at the mention of Marjolaine. 

She  _should_ be listening to Solona's warnings, but instead, she snapped at the young mage anytime she said something bad about Marjolaine. 

Leliana sighed, slumping against the chair in front of her TV. She pulled out her phone, about to ask Solona if she was still coming over, when she saw there was a voice message from said mage. 

She smiled and opened her phone to play it. 

" _Hey, Leli,_ " the voice greeted. " _Sorry about the short notice, but Isabela and Marian showed up without any warning and - Marian, put that down or so help me-_ " There was a crash and a shriek from what sounded like Marian. " _Sorry._

_"Anyway, both are drunk off their asses and they're a handful right now. So, uh... Yeah, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make it to movie night. I hope to talk to you soon. See ya later._ " 

The message ended right as there was another shout from Solona. 

_Damn it._ She was really looking forward to this movie night. Leliana was going to try to get their friendship back on track. 

It was strange. Solona canceled a lot of the plans they had made recently. Maybe she'd found someone? 

If that was the case, Leliana was happy for Sol. But she couldn't help the pang of hurt in her chest at the thought of Solona with anyone else. 

_Stop it_ _,_ she thought.  _Solona is your friend, nothing more. She probably has a hundred other men and women lining up at her door. Why would she want you?_

The last part sounded a bit like Marjolaine. 

It was true, though. Both men and women seemed to fancy Solona. And it wasn't hard to see why. 

Solona was beautiful. There was nothing else to it. The only thing that might put people off was the white streak in normally brown hair. 

Though it wasn't like she could control that. Sol had said it had started growing the day she found out she was a mage. 

Maybe it was an Amell thing. Marian was attractive as well, but not as attractive as Solona, in Leliana's opinion. They both had striking blue eyes, so that must have been something in the Amell line. Bethany, Marian's younger sister, had brown hair, so maybe that was an Amell thing, too. 

It didn't matter. The truth was that there was no way Solona could ever return her feelings. There were purer people out there, people who hadn't killed because someone told them to. 

Marjolaine would have to do for now. At least until she learned Solona's intentions. 


	2. Love is Blind

It had been a week since Solona had canceled their movie night. They hadn't really spoken since then. The only time they had was to make plans for a dinner. 

So, they had gone out to dinner. As Solona was driving her back to Marjolaine's, Leliana opened her mouth. 

The words had fallen out before she could stop them. "What do you have against Marjolaine?" 

Solona looked at her like she was crazy. "What do I have against her?" she asked, shaking her head. "Leli, she hits you. She makes you do her dirty work. Marjolaine hurts you in more ways than I can count. Maker's balls, she makes you  _kill_ for her."

"I do it because I love her!" Leliana shouted. "And she loves me. She doesn't...  _hurt_ me."

"Love," Solona murmured. "You may love her, Leliana, but she does not love you."

"How would you know? You've never met her."

"I have, actually," Sol said, resting one of her arms on the console between them. "She got me arrested months ago. I brought you to her home after you had passed out drunk. I carried you up the steps, and after I gave you to one of her bodyguards, she screamed that I had touched you and violated you.

"A patrolling Templar heard her and had me arrested for being both an apostate and an offender." Solona glanced at her. "She knows who I am, Leliana. She knows I'm your friend."

Leliana swallowed a lump in her throat. "Did... Did you do anything to me?"

"Do you really think that lowly of me?" Sol asked, low and soft. Too soft for how mad she should be. 

They sat in silence the rest of the drive. 

It was wrong of Leliana to accuse her of anything. Sol was a good friend of hers. Probably even her best friend. She would never lay a hand on Leliana without her consent. 

Solona pulled into Marjolaine's driveway, leaving the car on while she exited. 

"Coming?" she asked, her hands in her pockets. 

A sign that she was pissed. 

Well, either that or she was just bored. 

Leliana stepped out of the car, following Solona up the stone steps that led to Marjolaine's mansion. Just as Solona was about to knock, the door opened, and out came Marjolaine. 

"Oh, my Leliana!" she said, pulling Leliana into a kiss. "I've missed you so much!"

Solona turned and left without a word, making her way back to her car. 

Before she was even halfway down the steps, Marjolaine called out, "I trust you didn't touch her this time?" 

Sol said nothing. She never once glanced at them as she entered her car and drove off. 

Leliana turned to Marjolaine. "She would never hurt me. Solona is my friend. I've told you about her."

"Leliana, she only wants to use you. Why do you think she has stayed with you so long? That mage is just waiting for the right moment."

"That night she brought me back here when I was drunk. Do you know if she did anything to me?"

Marjolaine wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her inside. "Of course she did. Mages are not to be trusted. I taught you this a long time ago." 

"Sol... She said I shouldn't trust you. That you're just keeping me around so I'll do your dirty work."

"Of course she would say that,  _mon amour_ ," Marjolaine said, kissing her cheek. "I do not want you around her anymore."

"But we've been friends for years. I can't just cut her out of my life."

"I know. You saved her life after she escaped Kinloch Hold." Marjolaine was apparently leading them to her bedroom. "And how does she repay you? By turning you against me."

Marjolaine sat her on the bed, straddling her hips. 

"I-I don't know if we should-"

But Marjolaine cut her off with a kiss. "Of course we should. You're finally back to me. And I do have needs, Leliana..."

There was a sick feeling in her gut. It was wrong to do this. But she still allowed herself to be pushed against the bed. 

 

\---

 

_Did you do anything to me?_

That question wouldn't leave Solona's mind. Honestly, after all they'd been through, how could Leliana ever think Solona would touch her without her permission?

Was it because she was a mage? Did Leliana not trust mages, even the ones that were her friends?

No, that was absurd. Of course she trusted mages. 

But maybe she just didn't trust Solona. 

She understood why. Solona had been telling Leliana that Marjolaine, the woman she loved, wasn't good for her. Maybe Leliana thought Solona was jealous?

Well, she was, in a way. She was just jealous that Leliana had picked Marjolaine over her.

Not that she was much better. She was a mage, after all. 

Solona sighed as she stacked boxes against the wall of her bedroom. She couldn't stack them too high or else Duke would come running and knock them over. 

She had received bad news from Marian. Apparently, Revka Amell had disappeared some time ago. No one has seen her for weeks. Solona's half-siblings and step-dad were gone as well. 

So, Solona was packing. If no news came within the next few weeks, the First Warden had granted her permission to leave for Kirkwall to search for her mother. 

No one except the First Warden and the remaining Hawkes knew. Leandra had offered her condolences, but Solona had brushed it off, saying it meant nothing to her. 

As far as she was concerned, Revka was only her mother biologically. Other than that, she meant nothing to Solona. 

She would need to tell Leliana at some point. Whether it was while she was still in Orlais or when she was in Kirkwall, it needed to be done. 

Leliana was her friend. She deserved to know.

Solona leaned against a clear spot on the wall, glancing at Duke. He was already looking at her. 

"What do you think, boy?" she asked. "Am I making the right decision?"

She had met Duke a few days after she had escaped Kinloch Hold. She had known him just a week or two longer than she knew Leliana. 

Duke huffed and tilted his head at her. 

Solona snorted. "About all of this, I mean. With Leliana, with the sudden move back to Kirkwall. Do you think it's right?" 

Still no response. She decided to make it easier on him.

"What do you think of Leliana?" Solona asked, crouching in front of her mabari. 

Duke barked happily and wagged his stump of a tail. 

"The move to Kirkwall?"

He gave a whine this time, sitting back down in front of her. 

Solona nodded. "Me too. Do you think I should tell Leliana?"

Duke huffed again and nudged her with his snout. Smiling, Solona sat next to him and pulled out her phone. 

The call went straight to voicemail. 

"Hey, Leli," Solona said after she heard a beeping noise. She scratched at Duke's head to keep herself busy. "Um... I need to talk to you. It's really important. Could you give me a call back as soon as you-"

" _Solona?_ " asked an Orlesian voice. " _Sorry, I was... busy. Is there something you needed_ _?_ "

"If you're busy I can call later. If you want," she added quickly. 

" _No_ , _it's all right. You said you needed to talk to me?_ "

Solona nodded, though she knew Leliana couldn't see her. "Yeah, yeah. So, uh, my mom is gone. Missing, I mean. And I got permission from the First Warden to go to Kirkwall if there's no news within the next few weeks."

" _Gone?_ " Leliana repeated. " _Are you going to go look for her?_ "

"I'm going to try." 

" _You'll... be leaving, then._ "

Solona huffed a laugh. "Yeah," she said, "I guess I will be." Duke placed his head in her lap, pressing into her stomach. Just one of his ways to comfort her. 

Before either of them could say anything else, Marjolaine called out to Leliana on the other line. 

"I'll talk to you later," Solona said. She hung up before Leliana could protest. 

As soon as the call ended, tears were streaming down her face. She would have to move, anyway. Even if her mother was found, she would move back to Kirkwall and spend time with her family. 

But that meant leaving Leliana behind. That meant leaving Leliana behind without her ever knowing Solona's feelings. 

Long distance relationships of any kind weren't something that worked out well after a while. She didn't want to lose Leliana, but she would end up losing her to Marjolaine anyway. Why did it matter where she was when she lost Leliana?

An ugly sob came from her throat. Duke whined and placed his head on her shoulder now, his ears down. He looked to be frowning, but that wasn't possible. 

Solona would have to learn to be more careful separating her emotions and her magic. The Templars in Orlais were easy enough convince, but only once. The Templars in Kirkwall, however, found joy in torturing mages. 

She didn't feel like being beaten after traveling all that way. 

Taking a somewhat deep breath, Solona stood, only to crawl into her bed. She curled into a ball, burying her face in her pillow. 

Solona Amell fell asleep listening to the sound of her own ragged breathing. 

 


	3. Trust

Leliana had been staying with Solona for the past few days. Her and Marjolaine had had another "argument," but Leliana had gotten away before it could escalate. 

At least, that's what Solona had been told. 

Marjolaine knew where Leliana's apartment was, but she didn't know where Solona's was. 

Solona had always thought it strange that Marjolaine even allowed Leliana to have her own place. She didn't seem like the trusting type. 

Still, Solona knew Leliana would never cheat on Marjolaine. She was a loyal person, and she was devoted. 

Shaking her head, Solona continued making breakfast. She usually woke before Leliana, and even if she didn't, Leliana wouldn't help herself to anything like Solona had told her to. They'd been friends for years. Solona had nothing to hide from Leliana. 

Well, except her feelings. But that was something she'd grown used to hiding over the course of her years being second in command to a Warden-Commander. 

Solona glanced over her shoulder, seeing Leliana still half-asleep on the couch. She'd woken, walked into the main room, then sat on the couch. She kept nodding off, but Solona could see she was at least trying to stay awake. 

"It's almost ready," Solona called out, turning off the stove and putting everything on plates. 

Leliana made a noise that sounded like a hum. "You always make the best breakfasts."

Solona snorted as she placed the plates on the small table. "I just made eggs and pancakes. It's not 'the best breakfast.' It'll probably keep your hunger away for awhile, though."

Yawning, Leliana stood and made her way to the table, slumping down in front of Solona. "Maybe, but  _I_ still think your breakfasts are very good."

"Well, I appreciate that." They ate in silence before Solona asked, "How have you been recently? We've barely had time to talk, it seems." 

Leliana paused, staring at her plate for a few moments. She set her fork down and sighed. "Overall? I've been well. But... I'm thinking of taking a break from Marjolaine. At least for a little while."

"Why's that?"

Leliana had a sad look in her eyes. "It seems like all she wants me around for is sex. I know for a fact she doesn't want to settle down, which is something I hope to do in the future. I just want to be with someone that has the same interests as me, Sol."

_I could give you that_ , Solona thought. But she pushed it away as soon as it had come into her mind. 

Instead of saying anything, Solona nodded and continued eating. 

Leliana leaned back in her chair, rubbing her eyes. "I don't know," she said. "What about you? How have you been these past couple of weeks?"

"I'm afraid," Solona admitted. "I barely remember my mom, but the thought of never meeting her? Never seeing her again? It's a bit terrifying. Then there's the move to Kirkwall, which will put me on edge. I don't know if it's true, but Bethany said the Templars are worse there."

Solona still shuddered at the memories of her time at Kinloch Hold. It definitely wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it wasn't a good experience. 

Some of the Templars would touch her, telling her that it wouldn't be bad as long as she didn't struggle. One Templar had even taken away her magic so she couldn't fight back against his advancements. 

After that particular incident, she had almost died. She refused to eat, to speak with anyone. Her dreams were filled with demons wearing that Templar's face, touching her and violating her all over again. She would wake up and feel the sheets beneath her turned to ice. 

Wynne, one of the older mages, had finally persuaded her to speak of what happened. A week after she'd told Wynne what that Templar had done to her, she never saw him again. 

Cullen was still one of her good memories. He was one of the only Templars she wasn't afraid of. Mostly because his face would turn bright red anytime she turned her attention to him. 

Before she had escaped Kinloch Hold, she'd asked him if he'd wanted to share her bed, just for one night. Cullen refused, of course, but suggested they could spend time together doing something else. 

Solona always wondered what had happened to him. 

Coming back to the present, Solona sighed and stood, cleaning up her plate and Leliana's. 

"Bethany is still in Kirkwall, isn't she?" Leliana asked. "Maybe you should ask her how to stay out of the Templars' sights."

"Marian said she stays inside a lot. I suppose I'll have to do the same."

As Solona cleared off the plates, busy thinking about the Gallows and the Templars, Leliana had apparently come up behind her. She hadn't realized Leliana had moved until a hand touched her shoulder. 

"You'll be all right," Leliana said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "If anything, just tell them you are a Warden. They can't touch you, then."

"You've clearly never met a Templar." Solona took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"

Leliana removed her hand but didn't leave Solona's side. She instead leaned against one of the counters, giving Solona a nod. 

"Do you trust me?" Solona asked quietly. "Or do you honestly think that because I'm a mage I can't be trusted?"

"Of course I trust you," Leliana said, hurt clear on her face. "What makes you think I don't?"

"You asked me if I took advantage of you, Leliana." Solona shut off the water coming from the sink and moved away. "If you trusted me, you wouldn't have asked that."

Leliana stayed where she was, her arms crossed. "What do you expect me to say? Marjolaine even said you-"

"We've known each other longer than you've known Marjolaine, and yet you always take her word as fact." She turned to face Leliana. "I've put all my trust in what you've said so far, Leliana. But I really don't think I can do this anymore."

"So, what? You just want to stop being friends?" 

"I don't know," Solona sighed. "I really don't."

"We've never had arguments like this before, Solona. What's happening?"

"Something inevitable," Solona said. "I have to get ready for work. You can stay here for awhile longer if you want."

However, an hour later, as Solona was getting ready to leave for the day, Leliana and her belongings were gone. 

 

\---

 

Solona walked into Warden-Commander Clarel's office still in a foul mood. She'd tried calling Leliana to apologize for what she'd said, but no one had answered. 

She didn't bother leaving a message. 

"Warden Amell," Clarel greeted, looking up from where she had been writing something. "Someone has been waiting in the recruitment room for you for quite some time." 

Solona nodded. "I'll head there shortly, but I need to ask you something first." As she stopped in front of Clarel's desk, she bowed, as most Wardens did when greeting a Warden-Commander. "Would it be all right if I left earlier than intended? Some news of my mother came to me this morning."

It was a lie, but Clarel didn't seem to catch on to it. She looked sympathetic. "I heard about your mom," she said. "What was the news?"

"My cousin said someone may have found a lead on where she might be. If it's all right by you, I would like to leave within the next few days for Kirkwall."

In reality, she wanted to leave to give Leliana space. It was the least she could do.

Clarel nodded, setting her pen down. "That's fine by me. When do you think you'll be coming back?"

Solona chewed on her cheek. "It will be awhile. If my mother is found alive, I was hoping to spend some more time with her. I never knew her, you see. But if she's found dead, or not found at all, then I will be staying just for the funeral. I'm sorry for the short notice."

"It's no problem," Clarel said. "I'll find someone to do your job while you're gone. Thank you for stopping by, Amell, but I think you should go visit whoever is in the recruitment room."

"Do you know who it is?"

Clarel shook her head and frowned. "I was too busy when I came in to ask for her name. She just said she needed to speak with you." 

Solona bowed once more before she left Clarel's office. Duke had been waiting outside for her, and as she exited, he followed her. 

The recruitment room wasn't too far from Clarel's office. As she entered, she saw the woman that had been waiting for her. 

She had blonde hair that was braided back. Solona could see pointed ears through the loose strands of hair. She was bare-faced, so she likely wasn't a Dalish elf. 

That didn't make her any less dangerous, though.

"Good morning," Solona said. "My name is Solona Amell. Warden-Commander Clarel said-"

"I know who you are," the elf snapped, her Orlesian accent thick. She looked Solona up and down. "You're not what I expected."

Ignoring what sounded like a jab, Solona straightened and clasped her hands behind her back. "Was there something you needed?"

"Well, it's not what  _I_ need. I just came here to deliver a message." She grinned at Solona. "Marjolaine says to stay away from Leliana."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Solona said. "Leliana and I are friends, nothing more."

"Ah, but you are no longer friends, yes? Do you know she came back to Marjolaine's in tears?"

"That's doubtful. Leliana isn't one to let her emotions go free."

The elf took a step toward Solona. "Maybe not with you. But she trusts Marjolaine."

"That's her problem, not mine." Solona unclasped her hands, instead crossing her arms over her chest. "Is there anything else you need?"

"There was another part to that message." Another step closer to Solona. "Stay away from Leliana, or there will be consequences." 

"From who? You?" Solona laughed. "Oh, I'm so scared. Why, I think I even-"

Before she could finish her sentence, a fist came in contact with her eye and nose. Solona's head jerked to the side, blood already rushing from her nose. 

Duke barked loudly, startling the other Wardens outside the room. They came in quickly, and as soon as they saw Solona bent over with a hand to her face, they advanced on the elf. 

They took her to Clarel kicking and screaming. 

One of the younger Wardens put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked. "Do you want me to get a healer?"

Solona shook her head and stood. "No, but thank you. I can patch myself up."

He nodded, saluting her before he left. 

She wasn't too good with healing magic, but she could at least stop the bleeding. 

_Just a few more days,_ she thought.  _Just a few more days and you can leave this all behind you._


	4. Sol is Gone

Leliana received the call while she was asleep. 

It had been just a few days since her and Solona's little spat. They hadn't talked once during that time. 

Because of that, Leliana was surprised to have received a call from Sol. 

She played it as soon as she could get her eyes to stay open. 

" _Hey, Leliana,_ " came Solona's voice. " _There's been a change of plans. I'm leaving for Kirkwall today. And I'll, um... I'll be at the airport for awhile if you want to... I don't know._ " She sighed. " _I wanted to say goodbye in person._

" _Would you be able to make it? There's something I need to tell you. O-Or show you, at least. If you don't want to though, I completely understand. I'll give you all the time you need._ " Solona cleared her throat. " _Just in case I don't get to tell you... I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. I'm sorry for everything._ "

As soon as Solona had mentioned she was leaving, Leliana was out of bed and searching for clothes to wear. She was out the door when she thought she at least looked decent enough to be seen in public. 

The journey to the airport took Leliana longer than she would have liked. And searching for Solona took even longer. 

In the end, she had found Sol sitting alone, Duke beside her. She only had a few bags with her. 

"Solona," Leliana said as she came stand in front of her friend. 

Solona glanced up from where she had been reading something on her phone. She smiled sadly when she realized who was calling out to her. "You came."

Leliana sat beside her. "I can't believe you're leaving." 

"I'll be back someday," Solona said, nudging Leliana's shoulder with her own. "You'll do fine without me."

"But it won't be the same." Leliana felt tears well up in her eyes. "I'll miss you." 

Solona nodded. "I'll miss you too."

Leliana rubbed her eyes, putting her head on Solona's shoulder. "What did you want to tell me?" 

Before Sol could answer, there was an announcement saying that the plane for Kirkwall would be leaving soon. 

"I'm sorry," Sol sighed. "I've gotta go." 

Solona gathered her bags and stood. She only got a few feet away when Leliana said, "Sol, please, wait."

Solona stopped but she didn't turn around. 

Leliana wanted to reach out, but she stopped herself. "Please. Before you leave, I need to know-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence. Solona turned, closing the distance between them. She cupped Leliana's face in her hands before pressing their lips together. 

Leliana gasped, one of her hands on Solona's chest. But she didn't know if she wanted to push her friend away or pull her closer. 

Solona made the decision for her. She stepped away, looking anywhere but at Leliana. "I'm sorry," she said again. 

Sol began walking away again, Duke on her heels. 

And Leliana said nothing. She did nothing as Solona left. 

With each step that Solona took, Leliana saw some of the light in her world go out. 

 

\---

 

The flight to Kirkwall took several hours. Granted, Solona was asleep for most of that. One minute, she had her earbuds in and was looking out at the runway, and the next, she was landing in Kirkwall. 

The remaining Hawkes were there to greet her when she entered the airport. Bethany had run to her first and almost knocked her over with a hug. The other Hawkes' hugs were calmer. Leandra's was tighter than it needed to be, but Solona knew why. 

She might have been Revka's last child. No one really knew what had happened to her step-father and half-siblings. 

Bethany talked to Solona on their way back to the Hawke estate. She asked how she was doing, what she'd been up to recently. And Solona answered honestly. 

"I love my best friend," Solona said. "And I kissed her before I left for Kirkwall. Oh, and I'm leaving her with a manipulative abuser."

Bethany giggled at her tone. "I'm guessing it hasn't been good, then?"

"Well, there are some good things about Orlais. Like... Um... They have good dog treats?" 

"They're damn expensive, though," Marian said. 

Solona's eldest cousin had arrived in Kirkwall just a few days before she had. 

Solona hummed and turned to Bethany again. "You've seen the Gallows, right? Do you know if there's a man named Cullen there?" 

Marian laughed. "Knight-Captain Cullen? What's your story with him?"

Solona blushed and looked out the car window. "He... was a Templar in Kinloch Hold."

"Did you like him?" Bethany asked. "He is rather nice on the eyes."

"He was always nice to me. He let me stay up and read tomes even if every other mage had to go to their rooms."

Marian was still laughing, but it was quieter now. "I can probably take you to see him if you want. Though you may want to send word first."

Solona sighed and rested her chin in her hand. "I wonder what Leliana's up to," she murmured. 

She could have called Leliana. Maker, she'd been texting Solona since she boarded the plane, asking her what the kiss meant. 

It had been a mistake, and yet the right choice. Kissing Leliana was like nothing she'd ever done before. Sure, she'd messed around with some of the other mages, but it hadn't been anything like kissing Leliana. 

There was a good chance she wasn't going to go back to Orlais. Some of her Warden friends would make sure the rest of her things made it to Kirkwall, and that would be the end of it, as far as she was concerned. 

She'd visit occasionally. Marjolaine would never let Leliana come to Kirkwall alone. 

But their friendship was as good as gone. She'd given her warnings, and Leliana had refused to believe them. 

Solona couldn't keep stressing herself out over someone who didn't listen to reason, even if it killed her to leave Leliana behind. 

 

\---

 

Leliana felt empty without Solona around. She'd called and messaged her, but there was still no answer hours later. 

She still found herself brushing her fingers over her lips. The kiss had been brief but the feeling was still there. She couldn't remember when the feeling of a  _kiss_ still lingered hours later. 

It hadn't been like that with Marjolaine. 

But what did it  _mean_? Did Solona really care for her enough to risk her own life by kissing Leliana?

Marjolaine had found out. She had agents everywhere, so it was inevitable. 

"Maybe I should tell the Templars in the Gallows to make her a Tranquil for laying a hand on you, Leliana," Marjolaine said, moving the food on her plate around. 

"That's cruel, Marjolaine. And unnecessary. Solona isn't coming back."

"And I'll make sure she doesn't when she becomes Tranquil."

Leliana sighed. "If you make her Tranquil, you'd be killing her. And you will lose me if you lay a hand on her."

Marjolaine set her fork down and glared at Leliana. "You're awfully protective of some mage who has likely forgotten you by now."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Marjolaine shook her head. "Nothing, my Leliana. But you should know I do not like to share. The next time you see Solona Amell, she will be one of the Tranquil, whether you like it or not."

Leliana gaped at Marjolaine. "What is wrong with you? Do you know what happens to them? Do you know what the Templars do to them?"

Sol had told her what some Templars did to the Tranquil. She had also told Leliana that when someone becomes Tranquil, their connection to the Fade is cut off, and they live trapped inside their own bodies. 

Solona had once said that when she was younger, she had almost become one of them. She still had nightmares of it. 

There were other things from Kinloch Hold that she wouldn't speak of. Things Leliana assumed the Templars had done to her. 

After all, Leliana dreamt in the Fade as well, and Solona's mind often sought out hers when she was having a nightmare. Sometimes Leliana would have Solona's nightmares when they slept in her apartment. 

Solona had told her that she was probably seeking comfort, and since Leliana had been the closest thing that was familiar to her...

"Mages are not mistreated, Leliana," Marjolaine said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "They are not people like us. They are abominations."

"I can't believe you. Solona, my best friend, is gone. Maybe even for good. And all you have to say is what a bad person she is?" Leliana scoffed. "She has never laid a hand on me without my permission. But you have. Maker, I should have listened to her."

Leliana stood and made her way out of the room. She heard Marjolaine call out, "Where are you going?"

"Away from here," Leliana yelled. "I'm done with you, Marjolaine."

She felt good after saying that. Better than she had been feeling all day. 

Leliana tried calling Sol to tell her what Marjolaine was planning, but there was no answer. She tried messaging her, with no answer. 

She just hoped Solona knew how to keep herself safe without giving away her mage abilities. 

More than anything, Leliana hoped Sol would keep herself safe while in Kirkwall. Because if she was killed or if she was turned into a Tranquil, then the sun in Leliana's life would be gone. 


	5. Tranquil

Settling into Kirkwall wasn't as hard as Solona had originally thought. 

Apparently, several people knew her mother and were willing to help Solona find her. 

The only problem was that no one knew what had happened. They all said that Revka was acting fine, then one day, she was gone. A few days later, her step-dad and half-siblings were, too.

The Wardens and some of the Templars were the only ones actually looking. Even then, they had next to nothing to go on. 

Still, Solona was usually there all day. If not at the Wardens' headquarters, then she was out looking around. 

Which meant she usually left the Hawke Estate before any of them woke and got back when they were all still sleeping. 

But today was different. Bethany had wanted her to take a break, just for a few hours. 

They walked around Kirkwall, Bethany showing Solona the sights. They stopped at the Gallows. 

"I'm surprised I haven't been found out yet," Solona said, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's only a matter of time."

"Just tell them you're a Warden," Bethany said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Well, that actually might make it worse."

Solona snorted but said nothing else. 

They both stood in silence for a few moments, watching as Templars made their rounds. The silence didn't last long, however. 

"Is your name Solona Amell?" asked someone from behind them. Solona turned, only to be met by a Templar. 

Solona nodded slowly, taking a step back. There was another Templar behind the one in front of her. "Yes."

The Templar grinned before he grabbed her arm. 

"Wait, what are you doing?" Bethany asked. "You can't just take people off the streets!"

"We wouldn't normally," said the Templar who had grabbed her. "But we were paid this time. And we were paid  _a lot_ of money to make this one Tranquil."

" _Tranquil_?" Solona cried. "I haven't done anything! I'm not even a mage!"

The same Templar laughed. "Not according to your friend. What was her name?" 

"Leliana, I think," the other Templar replied. "She didn't seem too happy with your sudden move to Kirkwall, Amell."

Solona felt her stomach drop. No, Leliana would never sell Solona out. 

Would she?

The Templar that had grabbed her shoved her back. "Off to the Gallows with you," he said. "It's time to make you a better mage."

Solona looked to Bethany. "Get Marian," she said. "Hurry!"

Bethany left without another word. 

"Listen," Solona said as she backed away from the Templars, her hands raised. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm not a mage."

_Stay calm,_ she told herself.  _Don't lash out. Stay calm._

The Templar shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Someone wants you to be Tranquil, and because we were paid, we're going to do that."

His companion shook her head. "Sorry about this, Amell. But we have records of your mother having a mage daughter by the name of Solona Amell. And even if we weren't paid, we would still have to. You're an apostate, after all."

"I'm sure we can work something out..." Solona trailed off when she saw the Templars wouldn't give up. She stopped moving when her back hit a wall. 

The male Templar grabbed her by her shoulders and shoved her down while the other Templar grabbed her arms and held them behind her back. 

There was a metal pole in the male Templar's hand, and Solona could see the sunburst of the Chantry on the flat end. She knew it was a lyrium brand, but she wondered if it would burn or sting when it touched her skin. 

Solona could feel the heat from the brand even as she tried pushing herself away. 

Just as it was about to touch her forehead, a somewhat familiar voice called out to them. "Just what in the Maker's name are you doing?"

Solona turned her head to see another Templar coming to them, Bethany behind him. 

As he got closer to them, Solona recognized him.  _Cullen._

"This is an apostate," the Templar with the lyrium brand said. "We're-"

"Making her Tranquil, yes, I see that. But why are you? She's a Warden."

"Ser, we were told to make apostates Tranquil."

Cullen shook his head and shoved the Templar away from Solona. "Most of Kirkwall doesn't trust us anymore. Do you  _really_ want the Wardens after us, too?"

Both Templars shook their heads. 

"Get out of here," Cullen said. "And be lucky I don't tell Knight-Commander Meredith what happened here."

As soon as the Templars were gone, Bethany was helping Solona stand. She found herself wrapped in a tight hug before she could move. 

"I'm so sorry," Bethany said. "I called Marian and told her what happened, but Knight-Captain Cullen was near and-"

"It's all right. Thank you." Solona turned to Cullen. "And thank you. You saved me." 

Cullen smiled at her. "What are you doing in Kirkwall?"

Solona answered when Bethany released her. "My mother is missing. I came back to look for her." 

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

Solona shrugged. "I barely knew her. But she's still my mom. I want to find her."

Cullen nodded. "Let me know if I can help. You're an old friend, and you deserve as much."

He left shortly after, leaving Solona a blushing mess when he did. It seemed the tables had turned. 

Marian arrived not too long after, her face saying she was ready to beat someone up. 

Solona was yet again wrapped in a hug when Marian realized neither of them had been hurt. 

Having family had its benefits, she supposed. 

 

\---

 

_The next time you see Solona Amell, she will be a Tranquil, whether you like it or not._

Only a few weeks had passed since Solona had left Orlais. And Leliana didn't find it any easier to make it through the day.

Solona wouldn't answer or return her calls, which left Leliana in a panicked state most of the time. She just wanted to know if Solona was all right.

Because of the silence she'd heard from Solona since she left for Kirkwall, Leliana was surprised to receive a call from her. 

But it wasn't Solona. 

" _Is this Leliana_?" the voice asked. The woman on the other line sounded Fereldan.

"It... is. May I ask who-"

" _I'm so glad it's you_!" the woman said. " _Oh. Sorry. I'm Bethany, by the way. Solona's cousin._ "

Leliana made a noise of acknowledgment. "Is Solona all right?"

" _Oh, um... Well, that's debatable, really-_ "

" _She's pissed_ ," another voice interrupted. Marian, by the sounds of it. 

There was a smack on the other line. " _She's a little angry with you, but she should be fine later. She's going out tonight._ "

"She's mad at me?" Leliana asked, her brow furrowing. What had she done recently?

" _Oh, well, yeah. She was almost made Tranquil yesterday, and the Templars mentioned you by name._ " Bethany gasped. " _Wait, did you not know about that_?"

"What? No! Solona told me about the Tranquil. I would never wish that upon anyone, least of all her."

Then it clicked.  _Marjolaine._

" _She was lucky Knight-Captain Cullen was at the Gallows. Otherwise, she would be a Tranquil right now._ "

There was a string of curses, followed by Solona's voice. " _Have you guys seen my phone? I swear I left it right here..._ "

Despite the relief Leliana felt in  _hearing_ Solona was okay, she still frowned as Sol's cousins both denied ever seeing her phone. 

" _Anyway_ ," Bethany continued, more hushed than before, " _I just wanted to call you and let you know she was okay. I... By the way Solona described you, I didn't think you had wanted her to become Tranquil._ "

"I didn't know she talked about me," Leliana said, shaking her head. "We haven't talked in weeks."

" _She said she was just giving you space. And she talks about you-_ "

" _All the damn time_ ," Marian interrupted again. " _She sounds like a schoolgirl with a crush._ "

Bethany sighed. " _Thank you, Marian. I've told her to talk to you, but I don't know why she won't. It's clear that you want to talk to her._ " 

Leliana nodded, despite the fact that Sol's cousin couldn't see her. "I just want to talk things out. I have many questions, and she's the only one that can answer them."

" _Ah. Give me just a second. Hey, Solona_!"

There was some bickering on the other side of the phone, but eventually, Solona's voice greeted her. " _Hello_?"

Leliana almost sighed in relief. "Solona. It's you."

Solona took a sharp intake of breath. " _Leliana. Is there something you need_?" 

"I just want to talk with you."

" _Well, we're talking now._ "

Leliana felt her heart drop. "Why have you been acting like this? You've ignored my calls, my texts-"

" _Because I have nothing to say to you_ ," Solona snapped. " _Let me guess: you're calling because Marjolaine decided to abuse you again and you want to take advantage of someone else's hospitality_?"

"What has gotten into you?" Leliana asked. "You've never been this rude to me before."

" _Maybe that's because I didn't know the real_ you  _until yesterday. Are you upset that I wasn't made Tranquil, Leliana? Are you going to try again in a few days, try even more money_?"

"I tried to warn you about that! Marjolaine wants you to become Tranquil. I just want you to come home."

Solona laughed, but there was no humor in it. " _Ah, so_ now  _you want me. The broken mage with trust issues. The perfect prey, right_?"

Leliana felt tears well up in her eyes. "Solona, please, just listen to me."

" _No. I don't want anything more to do with you._ " Her voice was so cold. " _I'm in love with you, Leliana_ ," she said, her voice quiet. " _I trusted you with my life. And now... Now I don't know if I can trust you anymore. So just... please, leave me alone._ "

"You  _love_ me?" Leliana asked, the tears already rolling down her cheeks. 

" _Why else would I kiss you? Why else would I stay by your side no matter what you went through? But you loved another, and I trusted that you were making the right decision. I told myself to back down, and I did._

" _But Marjolaine started to become more abusive, and you wouldn't listen to me, and she had her claws so deep in your mind-_ " Solona cleared her throat. " _I'm sorry, Leliana. But I warned you. I trusted you, and now you've betrayed that trust._ "

"Sol, wait, please don't leave."

But Solona had already hung up, leaving Leliana to listen to her own uneven breathing. 

She set her phone down, sinking further into the couch, her head in her hands as she let out ugly sobs. 

Solona loved her.  _Loved her._ And how did Leliana repay her? By breaking Solona's hard-earned trust. 

Sol was right about one thing. She had warned Leliana time and time again about Marjolaine, and she had brushed it off as jealousy. 

Maybe it was, at first. She knew now that Sol had only been wanting to protect her, no matter who Leliana chose to be with. 

The only thing left to do was confront Marjolaine about Solona almost becoming a Tranquil. 

And who knew. Maybe she'd find real evidence that Solona was right all along about Marjolaine. 

Some part of Leliana wished Solona wasn't right. Some part of her wished that she and Marjolaine had just hit a rough patch.

But nothing was ever that simple, was it?


	6. Solona's Past

Solona walked down the path in the Fade, glancing at memories she had dreamed about. She's wanted to visit several of them, but there was one in particular she wanted to rewatch. 

After walking for what seemed like hours, she came upon it. 

_She was walking through a long forgotten town, glancing over her shoulder, pulling her hood tighter around her head. If anyone recognized her as a mage, her escape would have been for naught._

_Solona crashed into someone, sending her sprawling on the sidewalk, her hood pushed back. Her face was clear to anyone, now._

_Solona glanced up at the person who had run into her, a scared expression on her face._

_What if they had knocked her down on purpose?_

_The person - a red-headed woman - groaned and rubbed her forehead, leaning against a building._

_"Maker," she said. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention."_

_She sounded Orlesian._

_The woman removed her hand from her forehead and blinked upon realizing no one was in front of her. Then she looked down at Solona._

_"I didn't realize I'd hit you that hard," she said, offering her hand._

_Solona cowered away from it, instead standing up on her own, never turning her back on the woman._

_They were about the same height._

Maker,  _Solona thought._ I was so young then. I'm taller than Leliana now.

_The woman's brow furrowed. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you when I knocked you down?"_

_Solona shook her head, yanking her hood back over her head, covering most of her face in shadows. "I-I'm all right," she answered, not at all sounding like she was from the noble house Amell._

_"You don't look so good," the woman said. "Are you sure you're all right?"_

_Solona nodded. "I'm a little lost, is all. B-But I've... I've been lost before. I can find my way around."_

_"I've been here before." The woman smiled. "I can show you around, if you like."_

_"No, that's okay." Solona glanced over her shoulder again. She panicked when she saw two Templars walking down the sidewalk in her direction. "I've got to go. Sorry."_

_"Are you a mage?" the woman asked when Solona passed her. "You look scared of those Templars."_

_Shit._

_Solona stopped in her tracks. "N-No," she stuttered. The lie was an easy one to catch._

_The woman chuckled behind her. She nudged Solona's shoulder. "Come with me. I know a place you can hide."_

_Well, the pretty Orlesian hadn't told the Templars of her yet. So, Solona followed her._

_"I'm Leliana, by the way," the woman said. "And you are?"_

_"Solona Amell," she answered. "I escaped Kinloch Hold just a week... no, wait, maybe it was two weeks... no, no, it was definitely last week. Was it? I'm pretty sure-"_

_Leliana giggling made Solona's mouth snap shut. "I've never known someone that rambles as much as you do." Solona was about to apologize, but Leliana continued with, "It's an attractive feature, in my opinion."_

_A blush rapidly made its way across Solona's nose and cheeks. "Thank you," she mumbled._

_As they entered a building, whose name Solona didn't catch, Leliana said, "Well, here we are."_

_"Leliana," a person at a desk greeted. "Dropping off or picking up?"_

_Leliana smirked. "Dropping off, Alistair. She's a mage."_

_Alistair looked her up and down. "Well, you've come to the right place. The Grey Wardens accept anyone, really. Except for darkspawn, of course."_

_Solona tilted her head to the side. "Darkspawn?"_

_"Oh, sorry." Alistair nodded. "Yeah, little buggers that live in the wilder parts of Thedas, mostly. You don't see them too often, except for on the news when they kill one or two people. But Grey Wardens hunt them down when they get too close to a town or city."_

_"And... you don't care that I'm a mage that's on the run from the Templars?"_

_Alistair shook his head. "Personally, I don't care. We need as much help as we can get these days. And besides, if Duncan thinks you're good enough to become a Grey Warden, you won't have to worry about the Templars. No one can touch you, so to speak."_

_Solona glanced at Leliana, who was smiling at her. Which only brought a deeper flush to her cheeks._

_She turned back to Alistair and asked, "What do I have to do?"_

Solona turned away from the memory. In reality, she probably shouldn't have trusted Leliana that quickly. But it had worked out in the end. 

Mostly. 

She glanced at other memories; her and Leliana running into each other again, the latter saying Solona looked much healthier than she had the last time they saw each other. Leliana showing Solona different electronic devices (they weren't allowed electronics in Kinloch Hold for fear of contact with the outside world). 

Leliana giving her number to Solona and telling her to text sometime (after showing Solona how to text, of course). 

Solona came upon one of her fondest memories. It was when she had first realized that she had feelings for Leliana, and how happy she was when they were together. 

_"I honestly can't believe you've never had ice cream," Solona said, sighing dramatically. "What blasphemy."_

_Leliana laughed beside her. "Excuse me, miss 'I'd never touched an electronic device until I was eighteen.'"_

_Solona snorted. "That's different. I wasn't allowed contact with the outside world._ You,  _however, were allowed to eat ice cream anytime you wanted, and you never did."_

_"I suppose you're going to force me to eat ice cream now?"_

_"Nah. I'll probably just keep buying you ice cream until you eat it, though."_

_Leliana shook her head. "How did I ever come across you?" she asked, seemingly to herself._

_Solona shrugged. "I'm pretty sure we ran into each other on the sidewalk. Literally. And then you sold me to the Wardens."_

_Leliana laughed again, filling Solona's heart with joy. "I didn't sell you. I offered you a job."_

_"Well, if you want to get technical about it, Alistair offered me a job."_

_"You're rotten," Leliana said, bumping their shoulders together. Solona was a good two inches taller than Leliana, now._

_Leliana was still smiling, and Solona felt something strange in her chest. It was almost like a fluttering feeling. She could feel her heart picking up speed._

_Leliana turned her head, an eyebrow raised when she saw Solona was watching her. "What is it?" Leliana asked._

_Solona shook her head, a blush appearing on her cheeks. "N-Nothing," she stammered, looking away. "Thought I saw something."_

_The fluttering feeling never left her chest._

Solona sighed as her chest seemed to cave in on itself. Her feelings had only grown since then, which, of course, caused problems between them. 

Not that Leliana knew back then. But over the years, Marjolaine had become more violent, and Solona, despite herself, would take on a jealous role. 

She couldn't even count the times she had told Leliana that Marjolaine wasn't good enough for her. She also couldn't count the times that Leliana had snapped at her to mind her own business.

Maker, how she missed even the arguments. 

She needed to talk with Leliana. Straighten things out between them.

But how could she, when she had said all those nasty things to Leliana? How could she, when Leliana now knew how Solona felt?

_Maker, I miss her._

Solona jerked awake in her chair. There was drool on some of the tome she had been reading. 

Solona wiped at her mouth and stretched. She then checked her phone, her heart speeding up when she saw a message from Leliana.

_< Leli, 9:47 PM>: Hey. I know things got off on the wrong foot with us, and I apologize. But I might have found something that proves Marjolaine was plotting against you. Text me back when you can, or if you even want to see it. If you haven't blocked my number, that is._

Solona rubbed at her eyes before typing a reply. 

_< You, 11:19 PM>: Hey. Sorry, I was asleep. What have you found?_

When Solona entered the guest bedroom, her phone buzzed. 

_< Leli, 11:21 PM>: Oh, sorry. I hope I didn't wake you._

_< You, 11:22 PM>: Nah, I was having a bad dream. Care to tell me what you found?_

_< You, 11:22 PM>: I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out as snappy._

Her phone buzzed again when Solona was climbing into her bed. 

_< Leli, 11:27 PM>: It's all right. Here's a picture of what I found._

A few minutes later, a picture came in, showing a written letter. 

As Solona skimmed through it, she saw that Marjolaine had, in fact, tried to make her Tranquil.

But there was some other news on it, as well. 

_< You, 11:34 PM>: There's more on that letter. _

_< You, 11:34 PM>: It has information on it about Orlais' military. _

_< Leli, 11:35 PM>: I know. I found some others like that. Marjolaine is a traitor._

_< Leli, 11:36 PM>: I need to confront her about this. _

Solona's heart sunk. 

_< You, 11:36 PM>: No, Leliana. That's a bad idea._

_< You, 11:37 PM>: You know how dangerous she is. Stay away from her._

_< You, 11:40 PM>: Leliana?_

Solona threw her blankets off and leaped out of bed. She left her room and headed to the living room, where no one would hear her. 

She called Leliana, her heart beating rapidly in panic. 

It went to voicemail. 

_There's no way something happened that fast,_ Solona told herself. She didn't believe it. 

"Damn it!" Solona hissed. "Pick up the damn phone."

Her third call went straight to voicemail, as well. 

"Who are you talking to?" came Marian's voice at the top of the stairs. "You're loud."

Solona sighed. "My friend. She's about to confront her abusive girlfriend, who just so happens to be a traitor."

"Sucks." Marian took a step down. "Hey, have you seen my mom? I don't think she came back from her little date."

"No, I haven't. Have you checked her room?"

"Where else would I have checked before asking you?" Marian snapped. "Sorry, sorry. She's just usually home by now."

"I can look into it in the morning," Solona said. "But right now, I'm a little preoccupied."

Marian shrugged. "I'm coming with you tomorrow if she's not here by then."

Solona waved her off and tried calling Leliana again. "Whatever. Leave me alone."

Marian took another step down. "Trouble in paradise?"

"It was never paradise." Solona shook her head. "How would you feel if the person you loved didn't listen to your warnings about their abusive significant other? Because I'm pissed and I'm tired and Maker, I just hope she's okay." 

"I would feel pretty shitty." Another step down. "I'm sure she's all right, Solona. Maybe you'll feel better after you get some rest."

"Right, because I'm in a great mood to be sleeping," Solona said. 

_Maker, keep Leliana safe._


	7. What was Lost

Marian and Solona found both of their mothers.

Apparently, a few of the Wardens in Kirkwall had seen someone with Leandra's description walking with someone late at night.

The cousins had searched all around where the Wardens said Leandra might be. 

She had been at the mercy of some sick mage who wanted to recreate... Maker, Solona didn't even want to think about it. The thought of someone doing that made bile rise in her throat. 

Revka Amell was alive. She looked sick, but she was alive.

Leandra was gone. Marian had been the one to end her suffering.

Solona was horrified. What happened to Leandra could have happened to any one of them.

Marian turned on her as soon as they were all outside. 

"This is why mages should be kept in Circle Towers!" Marian shouted, tears filling her eyes. "They start doing things like killing innocent citizens if they aren't kept in check."

"Not all mages are like that, Marian," Solona said. 

Marian shook her head. "No, but most are. No one knows what people like you are capable of."

Solona helped Revka into the car. "Do you honestly think Bethany or I are capable of doing something like that? Do you think we should be put in Circle Towers, restricted on what we can or can't do?"

"I..." Marian paused. "No. Maybe. I don't know."

"You can't damn an entire people based on the actions of one man," Solona said. "You of all people should know this."

Marian was silent the rest of the drive.

 

\---

 

After Solona had made sure Revka would be all right, and after they had talked for a little while, she called Leliana. 

It went to voicemail the first time, but the second time Leliana picked up.

" _Sol? Thank the Maker it's you._ "

"Leliana?" Solona asked. "Are you okay? Did Marjolaine hurt you?"

" _A little bit, but I'm fine now,_ " Leliana answered. " _Maker, Solona, I'm so sorry about everything. You're a good friend, and I should have listened to you when I had the chance._ "

"Are you safe?" Solona was pacing around her room. 

Leliana was silent for a moment. " _Not right now, no. But I will be soon._ "

"Where are you?" Solona asked. "I can ask some Wardens to keep you safe."

" _No, it's fine. I promise. I just... I just want to apologize, Sol. I wasn't exactly the nicest friend at times._ "

"Leliana, what are you talking about?"

" _I'm sorry, Sol. I have to go._ "

"Leli, wait."

Before Solona could even say anything, Leliana hung up.

Solona stared at her phone for a moment. 

_She's likely still in Orlais,_ Solona thought. 

So, Solona called one of her Orlesian Warden friends and asked if they could look for Leliana, keep her safe. 

After she was done, Solona made her way to the main hall of the Hawke Estate. Duke glanced up at her from where he was laying. 

She checked her wallet, made sure she had enough money for a plane ticket to Orlais. 

"What are you doing?" came Revka's voice from the kitchen. 

Solona sighed. "A good friend of mine is in danger in Orlais. Now that _you're_ safe, I need to go to her to make sure _she's_ safe."

"After all these years, after what just happened, you want to leave?" Revka asked. 

"What do you expect me to say, Revka?" Her mother flinched at her name. "You didn't raise me. You sent me off to a Circle Tower before you even knew that I was a mage."

"I made sure you would go to Kinloch Hold," Revka said. "I know about the bad things they do to mages at the Gallows, and I didn't want you to be a part of that."

"Like Kinloch Hold was any better," Solona muttered. "There's nothing keeping me here. As far as I'm concerned, you're only my mom biologically. I want nothing to do with you."

"You can't be serious." Revka took a step toward Solona. "You're my daughter. I wanted to contact you, but the Templars wouldn't let me."

Solona shrugged. "If we were good, we were allowed visitors every now and then. It almost seems like you didn't even want me after I became a mage. Did you just want to erase me completely from the family line?"

"Of course not!" Revka protested. "You are an Amell, just like me. You're a part of this family."

"You're not going to change my mind," Solona said. "I'm an adult now. I'm going back to Orlais to make sure my friend is safe, and you can't do anything about it."

"Just keep in contact," Revka said as Solona turned away. "Please."

"I'll think about it." 

Then Solona made her way to her room to pack her things.


End file.
